Jun 15, 2020
#135: When it comes to men and conflict, I typically see two conditioned responses:
- Avoid
- Lose Their Shit
Neither of which are becoming of a Great Man.
The Avoidants lose all sense of their boundaries, because they have none.
- They have
difficulty identifying what they stand for...because they’ve never
truly stood up for anything.
- They typically end up exhausted and cynical from a lifetime of biting their tongue and eating shit.
On the other hand, the guys who lose their shit leave a path of destruction in their wake.
- They create
an environment of fear
- They bully others to suppress their true feelings
A Great Man savors conflict. He doesn’t see it as a threat to his existence, his masculinity or how he looks.
He recognizes conflict as:
- A powerful
source for personal growth
- For forging
deep, trusting bonds with others
- For finding his ultimate source of power and purpose.
In this Episode:
- 3 reasons why
men avoid conflict
- Why you want
to build conflict stamina
- How men’s
brains rely on a different emotional system than women’s brains
during conflict
- Why in men,
the brain’s response to anger can produce feelings of pleasure
because of the hormones that are released
- How to know
which battles to fight and which to let go
- 3 powerful payoffs of learning how to savor conflict
Resources Mentioned:
- The Male Brain by Dr. Louanne
Brizendine
- Sacred Hoops by Phil
Jackson
- 2 Reasons Why Your Man Hates Conflict
by Shaunti Feldhahn
- Why Fighting is Necessary in Relationships by Jordan Peterson (YouTube Video)