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The Great Man Within


Aug 28, 2020

#161: One of the surefire ways to sabotage your performance (and overall well-being) is to be inept at establishing and maintaining powerful boundaries.

 

As Dr. Henry Cloud says in his book Boundaries: When to Say, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life:

 

“Boundaries help define your soul, and they help you to guard it and maintain it.”

 

If you’re not into “soul” talk, boundaries also help you define:

  • What you say yes, and what you say no to
  • What you stand for
  • What allows you to live your Great Man more often

 

In Boundaries, Dr. Cloud outlines 9 reasons why we fail to establish or enforce powerful boundaries:

 

  1. Fear of hurting the other person’s feelings
  2. Fear of abandonment and separateness
  3. A wish to be totally dependent on another
  4. Fear of someone else’s anger
  5. Fear of punishment
  6. Fear of being shamed
  7. Fear of being seen as bad or selfish
  8. Fear of being unspiritual
  9. Fear of one’s over-strict, over-critical conscience 

 

In today’s episode of The Great Man Within Podcast, I share about:

  • My own struggles with establishing boundaries (as a recovering people-pleaser)
  • Why fear #1 above allowed others to take advantage of me
  • Why fears #4 and #6 keep you from speaking your truth, and why you’ll hate yourself for it
  • How to navigate through the uncomfortable process of authoring, communicating and enforcing boundaries that keep you living On Purpose

 

-DQ