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The Great Man Within

Aug 31, 2020

#162: In a former life, I identified as a sex addict.

While that version of me seems like a foreign person to me now, he’s most certainly and will always be a meaningful part of my life story.

I’m grateful for those 4 years I journeyed through sex addicts anonymous…a quest that quite literally gave me a brand new lease on life.

What I’ve found in sharing my story with regular guys, is that many of trials and tribulations resonate in deeply personal ways with them.

So today, I decided to dust off my old box of sex addicts anonymous materials – my books, my journals, my affirmations – as a reminder to see how far I’ve come…

…but also to share 5 lessons that regular men can benefit from when looking to upgrade the quality of their sex life.

#1. PARENTS: Your parents’ attitude towards sex have a much bigger effect on your sex life than you realize.

#2. BELIEFS & EXPECTATIONS: Your uninspected beliefs and expectations that you bring to sex (or your own sexuality) can often lead to underwhelming experiences, miscommunication with partners and sexual self-loathing.

#3. PATTERNED RESPONSES: You likely have a series of unconscious patterned responses to life conditions that either trigger your best or worst sexual behaviors.

#4. SECRET SELF: You may have unconsciously created a secret self – a walled off version of your sex life that excites you, but that you’re afraid to communicate for fear of judgment or rejection.

#5. DEFINING HEALTHY SEXUALITY: You’d be well-served to dedicate thoughtful time and intentionality to defining the elements that contribute to a healthy and vibrant sex life (with your partner, with porn, with yourself).

In today’s episode, Bryan helps me unpack my big box of sex addiction materials, digging for lessons and insights that you guys can benefit from.


Silently Seduced by Kenneth Adams
A Gentle Path Through the 12 Steps by Patrick Carnes